1) Today is Earth Day. Now, some of you are happy about that and (based on run-ins we've had with a few anti-treehugger soreheads over the years) we know for a fact that some of you are not. Whatever. We don't really feel like getting into a debate over whether we should or should not have a day set aside for the express purpose of celebrating the Earth and touting the many bennies of recycling. Instead, we would like to talk about something markedly less controversial: global warming.
In case you missed our point, here it is again: global warming is not controversial. The evidence that human-driven climate change is upon us is compelling and overwhelming. We don't really understand why it is so hard for some people to accept this, but we suspect it has to do with not really wanting to change the lifestyles to which we have become accustomed.
Listen, The Management doesn't want to change its lifestyle, either. But we are in dire straits right now and the sooner we face up to it, the better. The planet is this really huge ship, see, and it is hard to turn a big ship in a timely manner--and the truth is, The Management thinks we're already too late to avoid the approaching storm. In fact, if we were to let ourselves think about it too long, we'd get all messed up in our heads and depressed, and then The Management would be no good at all in helping to turn the ship. The Management would just be one of those people standing around on deck, sipping a blue cocktail and pretending not to notice the gathering clouds, when what it needs to be is one of the working members of the crew.
The Management thinks the last bit may be another reason people don't want to believe that we have a problem. That is, the implications are so big and scary that it is awfully tempting to dismiss them as media hype. There is a word for this behavior, and that word is denial.
To those still floundering in the denial camp, The Management says: we have no time to waste here, so get over it. We must not avert our eyes from the disaster that approaches. Yes, the storm is big and bad and ugly, and it looks very much like we are going to go down anyway no matter how furiously we bail, but bail we must. We need to stand firm, look trouble square in the face, do what we can, and hope for the best. We must be brave, we must have courage, we must have grit. Let us not speak of fear again. Put on your PFD and grab a bucket.
2) To you who insist on saying that "the theory of global-warming is controversial" simply because it is part of your contrarian nature, we have this to say to you: get off The Management's bus, please. The rest of us have work to do and you are only in the way.
The Management is not going to bother citing the staggering amount of scientific evidence; it is there at the touch of a mouse click, just as the thirteen or so scientists left in the world also in denial can also be found on the interwebs. Citing the scientific evidence, as we have clearly seen, doesn’t seem to change your mind anyway, so let’s just skip it, shall we? We both have better things to do than stand on either side of the ring yelling at each other. You run along and sip your cocktail, and we’ll go try to do our part to save the big ship.
3) To those of you who think that God will save us from this mess we've made of His planet, and therefore it is not necessary to worry about the alarming rate of climate change, we say this: you are free to believe that, but please, get off our bus so we can help Him do his job.
4) To those of you who still believe that God helps those who help themselves: welcome to our bus. The buckets are in the corner.
5) To our friends and colleagues who get all worked up about the nay-sayers: ignore them. We don’t have time to waste trying to change the minds of cocktail-sippers and do-nothing saints. Don’t bother with stunts like chaining yourselves to a tree; in fact, don’t bother with stunts at all. They don’t change the minds of the nay-sayers and they just annoy otherwise reasonable people; as such, stunts are self-indulgent and potentially counter-productive. More importantly, we don’t have time to waste on tree-chaining. We have work to do.
6) Be kind.
- Global warming: not controversial
- We must not avert our eyes
- If you aren’t going to help turn the ship, get off the bus (yes, The Management knows it’s a mixed metaphor)
- Don’t waste your time arguing with people
- We have work to do
- Be kind